Kat and Kate do America: March 2006

The toad is on the right if you were wondering...and yes she did kiss it!

All creatures great and small

Gator Aid

Kat and Kate...Alligator hunters

Kat, Kate, Marge and Pete do America!

Margaret and Peter rocked up to rescue us from the crap hole and took us for a day trip to the Everglades to see some Alligators!
It wasn't far from Miami, and before long we were sitting in an airboat being guided by 'Tony', the local Park Ranger. We encountered many a 'gator, including the dominant male...and I wouldn't mess with him, an iguana, loads of birds and it ended in Tony picking up the pace in the boat and speeding us along the water. Oh and for those making note, it got up to 90 degrees that day, ha!
Afterwards we saw a live animal show including a baboon, a scorpion, lizards, tiny alligators and the somewhat overhyped 'Alligator wrestling' (basically the guy just sat on this alligators back...and the gator looked like he didnt give a crap).

Feeling hot hot hot!

South Beach itself was pretty nice but had a bit too much seaweed, but its still nice enough to make any Brit jealous...and it was SO HOT! Even the rugby training took a hit this week, being constricted by a lack of movement and enthusiasm as we were melting away in the sand.
The shops were brill though, and Lincoln Road mall had loads of posh restaurants and nice stores (and our first sample of Tasti D Lite...ref Charlotte from SATC).
The art deco district was amazing and had some funky buildings which made South Beach unique.
On the way out of Miami you can see where the owners of the pimpin cars live...thats right, the ones with their own boats moored up outside (ref Bad Boys 2), and some of the plushest areas of the city.

Up to 29 decibels...still not enough

SoBe

"Party on the beach til the break of dawn...we're going to Miami...welcome to Miami" (Smith, W, 1998)

..or yet ANOTHER crap hostel. Now were talking REALLY bad. The South Beach Hostel didn't appear in our 'bible' and we had been warned off by Chris and Jay (of Austin fame) and it didn't take long to figure out why. On waking up after the first night, I heard this uttered by a severly discontent young lady..

"ITS LIKE SLEEPING IN A NIGHTCLUB TOILET!" (Wilde, K. E., 2006)

We had the convenient location of sleeping above a nightclub, with the added bonus of it being open until 5am. Combine this with being stuffed in the tiniest room ever with Senor Snore who obviously didn't hear the James Blunt/Dido/Cheesy classics/Hardcore dance set that we had to enjoy. Here is a list of reasons why the South Beach Hostel did not deserve the $25 a night..
Chipboard flooring in the hall..the whole hall
1 out of 4 showers worked
Window with no glass in the bathroom
Doors on the toilet didn't lock (much to Kat's horror)
Toilet doors made in a shed in Trinidad
No curtains in the room
Desk lamp for a light
Unmatching creeky beds found on skip, nailed together for security
Unmatching linen
Broken mirror
Stupid BoHo paintings on the wall
Permanent residents
The entrance was in an alley decorated with a fish head and sick
The kitchen smelt of wet dog and was completely unsanitary and unuseable

South Beach itself was pretty wicked and was the place to be if you had a pimpin ride and lots of cash money.. or a scooter, or you've got major Brokeback tendencies or you're Hispanic with a chip on your shoulder.

...and then there were 4

Parental Units are in da house!

Margaret and Peter arrived in style in none other than a mini van complete with automatic door (on one side anyway). We went for a nice meal at Bubba Gump restaurant and a few beers later we had informed them of all our stories from 10 weeks (the censored versions anyway). For once we are actually in a nicer hotel than our new additions to the road trip! They are in Miami for 2 weeks so we abused the Weaver Wagon for a lift down to South Beach (via West Palm Beach airport of course).

After

Before

It's time to dye!

Thats right, its been 10 weeks on the road now and a girl has to do what a girl has to do... Kat had "medium natural brown" and Kate opted for "extra light natural blonde".

Fun and games on Daytona Beach!

Sooooooo over Spring Break right now

We thought we'd treat ourselves to a hotel this week, and boy did we get lucky! Views of the sea from the balcony, a double bed each, a shower that WORKED!!! Once again we had the pleasure of the company of the stupid college folk still on their Spring Breaks, usually entertaining us until 4am with angry shouts of "GET THE **** AWAY FROM ME!!!", random balcony hops where Kate was ready to start a brawl with some blonde piece in a bikini that made the error of standing on our balcony, stealing chairs, "kabob" wrappers, empty tinnies, bringing a 6ft albino snake as the perfect travel companion (Im not sure if that is covered by the "no pets" rule), knocking on our door and shouting "put another shrimp on the Barby!" even though he knew we were English. Nice one, mate.
When we weren't kept up during the night, we spent the day lounging around either by the pool or on the beach, building sand castles complete with moats, and honing our rugby techniques with the ball that we got from a float in New Orleans! Kate is now turning a healthy shade and can fit in in any local ghetto, whereas I'm getting over my frying and gradually getting a bit of a tan.

Daytona Beach

The hills DO have eyes

Thats right...some of you lucky people back over the pond may have heard of a recent film called 'The Hills Have Eyes'. It started out as one of our time wasting trips to the cinema in Panama City Beach, and we left the movie theatre somewhat violated and traumatised. Thats right...in a nutshell the film is roughly 2 hours of unadulterated horror that made Kate and myself want to gouge our eyes out and resort to the hospitality of a padded cell. We can't decide whether we recommend the film but it was defo the scariest thing since sliced bread and was worsened by the fact that we had ventured through the same territory that the film is set in, on our road trip to San Diego. Shortly after that we rented a car and drove through the night, afraid to stop even for petrol, and then we arrived in Daytona Beach. What a joy... we just remembered it was the end of bike week, and trying to sleep in the plush surroundings of our Chevy Cobalt was made a tad harder by the roaring bikes of the Hells Angels!

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Lets clear things up...

I WAS SEVERELY SUNBURNT, NOT A HAPPY CAMPER...AND YOU COULD FRY EGGS ON MY STOMACH.....OK?!?!

New Orleans...Beads, Booze and Boobs

New Orleans, 'Chocolate City'!
Yes, we arrived to our usual ghetto standard hostel after our nightmare Greyhound ride and, well...let me paint you a picture. In August of last year the city was bashed around by hurricane Katrina and they haven't exactly done much to clear it up. The French Quarter (where it all goes down) is still standing strong, and then you get about a 30 minute walk of the most humming stenches, battered houses and general ghetto, oh...and then you reach our humble abode..the India House hostel. Yes, it is as hippy as it sounds. Our first night was a quiet affair where (as per usual) we tried ordering Dominos, only to find that the phones/internet/everything in our area STILL doesn't work! What are two hungry girls to do!?!
The next day we walked down to the French Quarter which is wicked (partly cos it doesn't resemble an American city at all) and all of a sudden we had these things flung at our heads. BEADS! This was to become our mission for the week; to get not only a neckful of beads every day, but the best ones as well! The first parade, where there are floats travelling the streets with some general unrelated theme, offered quite a steal of bead action, and we didn't even have to flash (which our hussy roommate Adrienne will testify holds quite a currency round these parts)! We even delved into the local cuisine, sampling creole and cajun dishes, but the most daring of them all...ALLIGATOR!!!!!! Kate loved it but in my opinion it was Rank McRank.
Its safe to say that Mardi Gras offers ample opportunity to have a spot of the devil's juice, our favourite tipple being a 'Huge Ass Beer', which contained way over a pint and a half for $3.50. Bargain! That was enough to get us oiled up for a night on Bourbon Street, followed shortly after by a 'Hurricane' (generally a rummy mess), but Bourbon Street is the birthpace of said drink so it provided reason to drink on!
One of the craziest nights involved us minding our own business in a Bacardi bar, and then some random guy (who was there with his Mum, of course) gave us some Bacardi passes which allowed us upstairs to the hallowed turf of the balcony. For those of you in Mardi Gras bead throwing circles, you will appreciate how we had hit the big time, for instead of being the catchers, we were now the throwers! The night turned into the biggest drinking affair we have had for a while, the cause of our downfall being free Bacardi and Amaretto all night, which provoked such drunken stumblings as a dance off against a midget in a jesters costume (I hang my head in shame).
Usually during all of this fun you meet a lot of people, so it was no suprise when we were approached by an odd couple on Bourbon street. We started chatting and then things didn't seem to add up. Why didnt Tammy have any beads? Why weren't they drinking? So we pressed them for why they were in New Orleans during Mardi Gras...and their answer...
"To spread the love of Jesus Christ".
They were fighting a losing battle. Kate then launched into the theory of evolution and how science beats religion hands down (apologies to any who disagree with Miss Wilde!), and we must have been there for a good 10 minutes until one of them simply said 'well recently Darwin's theory has been proved wrong'. Err.. I don't think so pal, and they walked off saying how it was the best conversation they'd had all night!
We wanted to show our support for New Orleans during all the new construction, and what better way to do so than going out for a night on Bourbon Street sporting matching 'KATRINA THAT BITCH' tshirts? They were very well received by tipsy bead grabbers city wide, and we got the best bead haul that night to say the least!

Kat and Kate do America

Sunday, March 26, 2006