Kat and Kate do America: April 2006

Guess the Universal Film!

Hollywood baby!

On our first day staying in LA we had the pleasure of experiencing their love hate relationship with cars round these parts. It seems that you need a car to do anything around here, including banking, eating, pharmaceutical needs and caffeine fixes, yet they don't allow you anywhere to park your pride and joy. As such the Pontiac was left out on the cold Hollywood streets, which needed a PJ run by Kate at 8am to put some dosh in the meter for 2 hours, what a joke! We decided to treat ourselves to a day of thrills at Universal Studios. First stop was the studio tour which was a tram that took you round the 'lots', allowing you to see studios and sets from films and TV programmes. The tour also included an attack by Jaws, a flash flood, a visit from King Kong, stumbling on to the plane crash site of 'War of the Worlds' (where's Tom?), a San Francisco earthquake, a look at Wysteria Lane, the Psycho house and Bates' Motel, and my personal fave...Jerry O'Connell's parking space (empty!). We were taken 'Back to the Future' in the Delorian, had a tour around Jurassic Park (the best!), went on the Mummy ride, and Kate had the crap scared out of her on the Van Helsing 'Fortress Dracula' walking tour. There were a couple of decent 3D and 4D films including Shrek, and possibly the best thing since sliced bread...'Terminator 2:3D' starring none other than THE GOV, Arnie, giving such powerful political messages as 'I'll be back' and 'Hasta la Vista baby'...only in America.

The dicey getaway drive from San Fran

The morning did manage to arrive for the two drunkards, and I was up at the crack of dawn attempting to erase the memories of the night before. I was elbow deep people, and it wasn't pretty. Yet for those of you who know me well, you will understand that when I finished the basin was shining and had a fresh lemon scent. We had to check out, and as we handed back the keys, the girl behind the desk asked the question 'so what happened in your room last night?', to which I replied 'i dont know what you're talking about, but its all cleaned up now', wink wink nudge nudge, she knew the score. We had to get a car so we were off to the rental place, when this guy turned round to us and asked if we were English and had been to Key West. Can you believe it, standing in the middle of China Town in San Francisco, it was the guy Tony who works in the hotel in Key West and had brought us deserts on the day of 'the incident', and was a general sweetheart! He was there on holiday and we had a good chat to him before picking up the pimpin Pontiac G6. We were on our way out of San Fran soon with an increasingly green looking Kate at the helm. We went on Highway 1 aka the Pacific Coast Highway, which offers good views of the coast. Unfortunately the only view that we wanted was the inside of McDonalds with a greasy burger in front of us. I took over the driving as Kate was growing increasingly sick, and as she dozed off I SWEAR the signs were adding miles to the distance to LA. We thought the drive would take about 2 hours and would get there by about 4pm, yet this drive was turning into a complete mission. Wanting to get there by midnight, we switched the nice scenery for the asphalt beauty of the 101. After the obligitory getting lost scenario in Hollywood, we eventually made to our new home by 11pm, only 7 hours late.

Flagstaff's other gems!

Stop Press! Something we forgot!

On our last day in Flagstaff we decided to explore some of the 'lesser known' national parks of Arizona. So we hopped in the Corolla and went along to the Sunset Crater National Park! It was pretty cool and a lot of the park was made up of a lava flow trail as well as the actual crater. We wandered around and enjoyed the peace and quiet (and gale force winds!) of the park compared to the rammed Grand Canyon of the day before. Then we went along 20 miles into the park and discovered the Wupatki settlements of the Native Americans consisting of old 'buildings', pottery and a sports ring! I got so involved that I wanted to stop at one of the Native American 'trading posts', only to be scuppered in my attempts to promote the local economy by a savage dog that ran up to the car and chased us, complete with shiny fangs that craved blood. Thats how I tell the story anyway.

Coyote Ugly

The Golden Gate Bridge, but where's the gold?

Its a hot look

Tandem Traumas

We thought the best way to see the Golden Gate Bridge would be to bike it, and what better way than on the wonderful creation that is a bicycle made for two. The crowd went wild when they saw us on the tandem complete with bicycle helmets, pedal pushers and saddle bags. With Kate at the helm and me bringing up the rear we made quite a team. We encountered a few teething problems, particularly to do with communication (me thinking Kate said 'STOP' when she'd said 'DON'T STOP'), but after our first mid hill stalling we made it to the bridge in full flow. The ride across was a lot of fun and Kate got trigger happy on the bell, not that anyone took the slightest bit of interest, it was a miracle there wasn't a mass of mown down pedestrians in our wake. Team KW then made it down a huge hill much to our relief, having to dodge a coyote, reaching speeds that surely would have got a fine in a school zone. Soon we were in Sausalito which was pretty fancy, so we stopped for lunch and an ice cream. We had already cycled 8 miles (we must stress mostly uphill) so we got the ferry back to Pier 41. We now have calves the size of a Russian shot putter and the walk back home was agonising.

Big Poppa

Those hills + us = out of breath

Sunny San Fran

Our first full day back in the 'big city' meant it was time to dust off our walking shoes and get ready for action. We started out with a rather hilly walk along to Fisherman's Wharf where we were surrounded by tourists and weird people painted silver that freaked us out a la Covent Garden. It wasn't long before we'd retreated back to the safety of Starbucks but a frappacino later we were ready to do some exploring. We had a gander at Pier 39 and all the sea lions that live there and of course the Golden Gate Bridge shining away in the sunshine (apparently a rarity in San Fran!). We thought we'd leave all that bit for another day and we went for yet another steep walk along to Lombard Street, aka "the world's crookedest street", if that is indeed a word. We did all the usual tourist photo op bits, amused outselves with the 'large' yanks that didn't take to kindly to the steep incline (then realised that it wasn't exactly a walk in the park for us either) and then hopped on a rather crammed and hot cable car down to Union Square. Kate was in her element in her new favourite shop 'Old Navy' where she bought some cropped trousers (due to a bunk bed climbing jeans ripping related incident) and a top, for less than 20 quid, and I got some flip flops for $3.50, which is roughly, err....nothing! After we'd 'shopped and dropped' it was time for another leisurely walk up the death hills to the hostel. However, here's where we get our money back, THE HOSTEL GAVE US FREE FOOD! Yes yes, we cashed in big time on some tostados and then crashed up the 6ft bunks into bed. Of course the decibel 29's made an appearance tonight.

Adrenalin junkies

ooh its grand

Grand Canyon

On Easter Sunday, we took a trip to the Grand Canyon to make maximum use of our annual national park pass. The canyon itself was absolutely massive, you can't even get your head round how big it is! It is really beautiful though and at points we had good views of the Colorado River which was a nice turquoise blue. We even went to extreme lengths to get the best pictures, sometimes inching near certain death perching ourselves over the edge. Hardcore I know. We also met some more interesting wildilfe, in the form of ladybirds and 'bullet' bugs that aim straight for the eyes and attach themselves to every nook and cranny. Kate took precautions with her sunglasses, but I left myself vulnerable which resulted in 2 'bug eyes', a lot of eye watering, but the bullets did get Kate too, and I saw some dodgy rummaging around in her clothes to remove the problem!

Easter 'eggs'

Easter in Flagstaff

After the Hoover Dam we headed for Flagstaff, Arizona. First port of call, Wendy's of course, but then we found our hostel which is pretty decent and we were greeted by Ching-Mei number 302, our Korean receptionist who sported rather fetching leg warmers, a bum bag across shoulders, and told us to put our parking permit on our 'dashy'. What a beautiful language. Flagstaff itself is really nice and peaceful, apart from the trains that HAVE to hooooooonk every 5 minutes throughout the day and night. We woke up today and exchanged our Easter presents which we had bought each other in a secret squirell operation. The only problem was that amazingly yanks have not seen the opening in the 'candy' market that Easter offers for us across the pond, and the closest we could get to an easter egg was a tiny pink M&M, or of course, the American alternative...a glass egg. I also made Kate a present that will be featured on Blue Peter next week, making good use of a plastic bottle and 'Easter grass'.

Hooover daaam!

Alvin, Simon and Theodore

Leaving Las Vegas

After extending our stay in Vegas at least twice we finally left...and made as much noise as we could packing up to disturb the 4 'sleeping beauties' who had woken us up during the night with general nonsense and puking noises. Lovely stuff. We left Vegas a few dollars lighter and headed towards the Hoover Dam, on the border between Nevada and Arizona. Well it was pretty massive but very impressive, and something that every GCSE geography student has dreamt about. Oh and we saw a few 'locals' in the form of some feisty looking chipmunk/squirrel monsters.

You have the right to remain silent...check the view!

"Hit em with a little ghetto gospel" (Shakur, T. & John, E, 2005)

Now some may think we have used the term 'ghetto' far too liberally, but this week has been the first genuine glimpse of life for the world's undesirables. Getting back from the Strip has proved hazardous every night, which is a 5 minute obstacle course to avoid drunks, Lieutenant Dan look-a-likes from the Vietnam War Vets club, prozzies, beeping horns, drug lords in their Bentleys, and people greeting us with "how y'all doin white girls". Just glimpsing out of our room the other night Kate spotted a van with a team of armed policemen hanging off the sides, carefully undertaking a drugs bust at the 'Fremont street apartments', just across the road from us. There were at least 3 other undercover police cars outside as backup, but after the initial call of "go go go" they seemed to come out empty handed.
At any time, day or night, WPC Wilde and myself will play a game of 'guess how many police cars there are outside', and there are bonus points if they are arresting someone, and a special prize if the cops are performing the art of 'frisking'. You may laugh, but this very thing happened last night outside our window complete with a guy being cuffed and frisked by a female cop and supervised by another officer of the law. We have figured out the centre of all the action, the 7/11 on East Fremont Street, where all the s**t goes down. It usually has a cop car outside for the inevitable moment when the next perp decided to misbehave, and is most definitely owned by the local drug lord. Yet the area certainly is ritzy, many of the dumpsters in the street are home to the local down and outs, including Dumpster Doug, not far from said 7/11. The streets are also lined with sick, the beautiful scent of puke, and the obligatory porno mags. Fremont Street, aka Ghettoville, NV.

The Strat...and free perks of Sin City!

We started the day by going up the Stratosphere tower, which was home to 'the world's tallest Starbucks', imagine our excitement. Obviously we had to sample, especially as our breakfast supply of tasty granola bars had run dry. There are a few rides up the top but I wimped out citing 'war wounds' and we both have a general lack of funds for that kind of action, we did have fun laughing at the folks that went on though, ha! It was pretty windy but we got some good snaps of the Strip and Kate and I with hair across our faces, amongst other things. Then came the free fun of Las Vegas that we love so much. Where else can you see lions lying on a rock doing nothing but hearing fake lion noises, see a conservatory full of butterflies, a frog covered in flowers, and then walk along the road to see a volcano erupting? Only in Vegas baby! What other free perks...err we smelt a lot of perfume in an attempt for me to spend some money, but we ended up buying shoes instead and missed 'the Sirens of Treasure Island' show...I don't think we missed out.

Bubbles, beer and BBQ

Hot tub hot momma's!

Those of you who haven't had the luxury of staying in a hostel before, you might be wondering what the standards are like for us. Well generally pretty mank...but here we have been treated to a pool AND hot tub! Therefore on Sunday we thought we'd top up the lagging tan with some Nevada sun action. We had the pleasure of meeting two lovely (ie hot) Aussie boys called Paul and Garry, who were obviously on a bender every night, and unlike us NOT on a budget. Before long, one of the other bonuses of the hostel showed up in the form of a free BBQ AND beer! What a joy! However, despite being here for going on 3 months, we still like to keep our sense of English decency (eg we form queues, don't push in and everyone knows the score). Yet being in an 'international' hostel we encounter different 'queueing policies'. Case 1 - An Aussie (shame on him spoiling his rep) cashing in on FOUR burgers, as we could only get 1 before they ran out, Case 2 - Other folk telling us they had run out at the BBQ before running up to take the last tasty morsels. Error. But thank goodness there was enough watery beer to go round.
As nice as our new Aussie pals were, it was spoiled somewhat by an sudden influx of freaks. The most predominant of which was a double act...a Danish boy and girl, complete with 'nonsense' language. We couldn't quite figure out the relationship but I'm sure any girl would have run a mile when the boy, who looked about 16 (no lie), came down dressed for his night on the raz sporting a giant belt that screamed 'WHERE THE BIG BOYS PLAY' and had beads around his neck a la New Orleans, yet these were special beads, complete with ahem, genitalia. The night was a success though, with Kate and I acting as the 'totty', getting in the hot tub whilst everyone was partying away.

Tee time

What else do you do when all the other kids are having fun???
MINI GOLF!
Ha! Even with a gammy arm I managed to be the victor twice! Check the technique!

Oh and one of the 'serfs' looked like Legolas! If you can see it that is!

Lets go yellow!

Ye olde pre-match warm up

"The happiest place on earth..."

Thats right, we arrived in Orlando, the Native American Indian term for "land of the mouse". Our hostel, although appeared to be our regular dive at first, was in fact pretty nice! Complete with a pool and lakefront setting we were pretty impressed. Now what are you meant to do when you have a head injury and can't get your stitches wet...yes indeed, "Medieval Times"! As featured on one of our fave crappy programmes out here (Flavor Flav's "the Flavor of love"...apologies for no 'u's), we went along to the 'castle', nestled quietly amongst McDonalds and the worlds biggest gift shop. We were greeted by these 'British' servants who gave us a crown to wear which had the colour of our knight on it. We all sat down in long rows and we were separated into about 6 groups, to cheer on our knight through the 'tournament'. It was all a bit like medieval WWF with horses! Oh and some of the dodgiest British accents this side of the pond! The perk of this gig was that we were also given a meal, including soup, chicken, ribs, potato and 'the Kings choice of desert'.. all of which had to be eaten without cutlery! Nightmare, especially when you've got a Beadle hand! The knights then set about jousting, fighting and generally getting medieval on our asses and we cheered them on! Kate even got so involved that she bought a flag, woo! There was even a little drama, as they had to find the treacherous knight who "hath slain the King's brother"! Fab! Unfortunately our knight died, but THANK GOD they figured out who the traitor was and we can all sleep a little easier!

Kat and Kate do America

Saturday, April 29, 2006